Don't know, don't care
My grandfather from my mother's side was an amazing and complex person.
He was smart and interesting, and able to talk to anyone about anything.
I remember being in the shop while he spoke to the local farmers and the sales reps, and how interesting the interaction between them was. He was the king of small talk and a sponge for information.
When years later I found myself in that same position, I too had refined my conversational skills, to the point that people loved to spend time at the store. While it was a small store, and consequently the meetings ought to have been brief, they spend hours and we had great fun.
I looked forward to new faces and my regular visitors and always had something interesting to discuss with them.
I was interested in their lives and their cars and hobbies and it was great. My customers too felt the need to tell me all about their lives and their culture and I made them feel like talking. Just honest and innocent conversation.
I really thought I was stuck in the remotest corner of the world and that life was passing me by. My exposure to people was limited, to the few people who came my way.
He was smart and interesting, and able to talk to anyone about anything.
I remember being in the shop while he spoke to the local farmers and the sales reps, and how interesting the interaction between them was. He was the king of small talk and a sponge for information.
When years later I found myself in that same position, I too had refined my conversational skills, to the point that people loved to spend time at the store. While it was a small store, and consequently the meetings ought to have been brief, they spend hours and we had great fun.
I looked forward to new faces and my regular visitors and always had something interesting to discuss with them.
I was interested in their lives and their cars and hobbies and it was great. My customers too felt the need to tell me all about their lives and their culture and I made them feel like talking. Just honest and innocent conversation.
I really thought I was stuck in the remotest corner of the world and that life was passing me by. My exposure to people was limited, to the few people who came my way.
I yearned for the big city and its interesting mix of people.
In the early days when I truly enjoyed the interaction with other people, I was sure I would have made a good caring doctor and, was a little bitter at the way things turned out.
Having moved to the city. And interacting with lots, and lots of people, who were way smarter than I was, I came to see things a little differently.
My character was based on the flawed need, for the approval of all those, I came into contact with.
This manifested itself in my appearing nice and caring and interested, when in fact all I craved was their approval.
This manifested itself in my appearing nice and caring and interested, when in fact all I craved was their approval.
With my current job, I have become a recluse and shun exposure of all types. Once I had found myself and learned to respect myself, I didn't need others approval.
Now many people find me Stern, and unapproachable.
And that's OK with me.
Those people who are welcome into my space, don't feel that way. That's just fine too.
M Parak. April 2015
Comments