My Eyes are up here!

 

When a man says he knows what it must be like for a woman, he is either being patronizing or condescending.

You have to have had boobies, to understand what it's like, living with Boobies. 

When a woman meets her intellectual equal at the workplace she needs to be recognised as their equal and not as meat. When she goes to the filling station or hires a gardener she needs him to not see her as a sexual object. 

When she addresses her assistant and attendants, she needs to exude gravitas and not be seen as meat.

When your daughter goes to the principal's office or when your wife goes for physiotherapy, we expect them to be treated with respect and dignity. 

(notice how this elicits a different reaction) 

The problem is that there is a huge double standard operating below the surface, and we men just don't get it. 

If the principal gets over-friendly with our daughter, we get it.  

We feel her discomfort and are able to confront the issue and at the very least understand the dynamic. 

When we are that principal things are a little different. 

Our perspective changes.

Even the most conscientious man will not even be aware of his eyes dropping for a split second. It's assumed that such a sneak peek is not noticeable. 

It totally is. 

Even that micro glance that seems so casual, triggers all sorts of alarm bells in a woman and she will at the very least find it sleazy. 

Like the raging bull is confused by the Matador waving a red flag, men are often confused and easily manipulated.  They project their insecurities concerning their poor body image and possible shortcomings in the "down there"  department with the way women feel about their bodies.  A man assumes that just as he would not refuse an extra inch at any cost,  women would likewise give a kidney for slimmer bodies or more pointy perky boobies.  For two inches most men would give away both their kidneys. The point is we don't have any frame of reference except our own perspective. If a man had two extra inches he wouldn't wear underwear or be shy in the locker room. Flaunt it. 

Smoke Em if you got 'em.

So when he sees a pair of boobies and glances down, he might even be, in his mind,  paying her a compliment. (as a woman commenting on his big biceps or six-pack is a compliment and a turn on). He figures if her stuff is sticking out and in his face, he is meant to look and appreciate the wonders of creation. His upper brain knows better but he can't help himself. When he sees women with text on their T-shirt, he is totally confused. The text was clearly meant to be read.  When he was potty trained by his spouse he was taught not to look. Not even a little peek. So what's up with the text?

We are exposed to the women who fixate on their looks and their boobies to the point of paying for painful surgery. When women wear alluring revealing clothing,  logic dictates that these women want us to look and be seen looking and that they would appreciate the attention.  It appears that in some cases this is true, but we can't be trusted to tell the situations apart. 

Not when the little guy is running the business.  

(I get how she dresses sexily, to please herself, not you, but those are big brain thoughts.) 

This was not meant to be an expose on boobies and what the correct etiquette is regarding boobies. I started off intending to address a small percentage of us who are afflicted with the "Man boobs". 

It's worse when you are overweight but they never go away. Even if you are buff and develop a six-pack. The jugs are always there.  Being dealt a bad hand is hard but it leaves us, cursed yet uniquely able to appreciate the indignities that women have to endure. 

We know when peoples eyes dip, to take a peek, and we feel the same shame and embarrassment.  

The question is, has this empathy for the plight of the pointy boobie made us better humans. 

The obvious test is to put yourself back in the principal's office. Or the corporate boardroom. This time we are the principal or the man in the suit. Does the unique insight offered by the suffering of man boobs give us the wisdom to handle these situations more maturely? Or are we all just dogs, going around sniffing women's bums? 

Hardwired by our prehistoric ancestors. 

Doomed by the sleazy gene. 

M Parak 

May 2021.