Ramadan 2021 is over. yay

It's the day after Eid and I should be happy. My blood is sweet with sugar and my belly full. For the past month we, or more specifically, I have been counting the days, each moment till the end of Ramadan. 

When life could go back to normal.

My life outside of Ramadan looked amazing and I was eager to go back.

I put my thoughts on hold and took it one day at a time and at first, it was one week, then two. Every moment brought us closer to Eid, and freedom. 

Now that it's behind us, I am free to live my life as I please. Yet the reality is oddly, less satisfying than I expected.

During Ramadan, for me, it was clear that I just needed to get through each day. If I could have  slept all through the day I would have. 

No remorse over sleeping my life away or not being productive. All the usual demands of daily life could be placed on hold as I just needed to make it through the month.

What I was fighting, every minute of each day was not hunger so much as it was my addiction to food. My unhealthy relationship with food lay beneath it all. 

I craved things that I don't usually eat. 

The exotic smell of pizza and coffee in the malls  was more than I could handle.

I remember thinking when this was done we should eat out more. Go out to lunches with friends, and now that I can do just that, I can't understand what all the hoopla was about.

Now that I am again part of this world and not just going through my day like a zombie, I have to think about paying rent and making sure the cars get serviced and that there are enough new projects in the pipeline, and that we are not stagnating. Now once again I need to carry the burden of earthly responsibilities like everyone else. 

I am not saying that I am sad that it's ended. While I have heard many with strong faith say this, I can't say that I am going to miss Ramadan but I can say that now that I don't have the excuse of fasting, it's scary to have to perform, wake up early to work in order to make a living.

Ramadan 2021 is over and now we get to go back to our lives.

yay. 

(so why am I saying yay instead of Yay!)

M Parak

May 2021.